I guess me being the result of donor conception could make me feel like something is missing or as if my parents aren’t my ‘real’ Mum and Dad. However it just isn’t like that at all.
I am an 18 year old girl (part of a set of twin girls), in my first year at university and have never wished I was conceived differently. In actual fact, I love that I was conceived the way I was!
I don’t remember when my parents first told me about my ‘beginning of life’. It has just always been something I have known. I have just grown up with it.
I honestly do think that this was the best thing my parents could have done. I don’t know what it would have been like if one day we had been just sat down and told. I think that the ongoing reminders that my parents gave me as I was growing up of exactly how much I was actually wanted helped. How much I am loved!
I know I was the outcome of over nine years of IVF attempts and part of the successful pregnancy that instead wasn’t just another awful miscarriage among the previous 20 or so.
I was wanted! My parents were determined to have children and didn’t give up just because it simply got hard one or twice. I was really, really wanted!
I have never really had a problem with telling people my story. Very often throughout high school when IVF came up or something relatively similar in a health or biology class, I jumped at the chance to tell my story and discuss things to do with it.
I think IVF is an amazing miracle and think if couples are desperate to have children and can’t have them naturally then it’s a great option for them. Most people who hear about my conception are really quite interested and fascinated by the whole thing.
I realise that IVF isn’t exactly an easy process to go through. So if you are willing to take part, then doesn’t that already show how much you are loving that child to pieces?
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I have never thought about what could have been, what could have happened and where I might have ended up if I wasn’t implanted as an embryo into my Mum.
I have thought about what my biological donors are/were like. I often think about what they look like and if maybe they ever think about what those eggs and sperm that they donated became.
I don’t have contact with my donors and unless they are on a voluntary database I probably never will be able to meet them! At the time they donated, the laws protected their identity so unfortunately there isn’t much hope for me to learn much about them.
Like I said, being a ‘product’ of IVF and donor embryo conception has never really impacted much on my life and I don’t think it really ever will. It is just another pathway that my parents used to succeed in having kids.
And although I may not be biologically related to them, this doesn’t make me love them any less!